Will A Test Score Tell Me Anything I Already Don't Know?

"Your son is so good at English Literature. Get him to compete in this forthcoming event. I'm sure he'll rock the show." It was the umpteenth time this advice came in. I felt the same when I saw the photograph of my friend's daughter with her silver medal at the national championship. It'll do so much good to his self confidence.

But something didn't feel right. It's not about the pressure to win or even the risk of losing and feeling low. It's something deeper.

Sure, I felt good when I won a quiz or was chosen the school captain or received my grade promotion within the first year. But it was someone out there who made a statement of my worth. When I lost or did not receive the expected promotion, then too, it was someone out there making a statement about my worth (rather the lack of it). I got so used to being evaluated by others, that I soon lost the sensitivity to my own assessment.

Subtly, very subtly, the meaning of 'worth' had changed completely to 'relative worth'. Only the top three or five felt worthy; not because of their intrinsic worth, but due to the inability of others to match up.

Why? Just why should I get my children used to such a demeaning method of evaluation? I'm happy and proud of his ability to read, comprehend and express himself. I don't need a test score to tell me that he's good at it. And why do I need to know how many others are not as good as him? There's no rationale!

So, will they never take an exam? They will, when there is a need to. The result of an exam is like a board on the road, which says that a specific place is 125 km away. Just because another place is 245 km away, it does not make one place better or worse than the other. It's not something to feel happy or sad about. The score of an exam may suggest that I'm suited to study engineering or I'm not. If it indicates that I'm not, I should find something else that I'm suited to. So, when there's a purpose they'll take an exam but not for any other reason.

They're quite likely to be aware of their abilities and worth without any outside entity's ratification. They're not going to a school or living in an environment of competitiveness. But as parents, we must hold ourselves from evaluating them on meaningless scores. That's a test for us.